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Bubba
and Earl...
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down
the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's
a poll-ice roadblock!!
We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish
drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our
foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat".
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under
the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys
been drinkin'?"
"No, sir", said Earl. "We's on the patch"!
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An Email From GOD...
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw
all of the evil that was going on.
He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So
He called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth
for a while. When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on
Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, He thought for a moment and thought maybe He'd better
send down a second angel to get another point of view. So God
called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the
Earth is in decline. 95% is bad and 5% is good." God said this
was not good.
So He decided to send e-mail to the 5% that were good. He wanted
to encourage them and give them a little something to help them
keep going down the right path.
Do you know what that e-mail said?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, you didn't get one either, huh? Bummer!
Childhood
I had a terrible childhood.
I'm probably the only guy in history who was once bitten by
the Tooth Fairy.
1,101
One- Liners
Great humor for speakers, Toastmasters, Roasters, Deejays, or
anyone who needs a laugh! Read more
- 1,101 One- Liners
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